Couple hrs ago I deleted my latest space entry due to the pressure from my family.

It's the first time I actually delete sth from my own very space, and it's done by sth against my will.

So...

It's so fuckin embarras that for this time, the very first time, I fuckin compromised.

But it's even embarras more, for those ppl who forced me to do so.

Because u ppl are the very example of what I consider as loser,

What I consider as who has no guts to face the problem but only know how to bury it.

 

My MSN space is my town, is my fuckin town. U ppl out there can read and judge or do whatever u want.

BUT U CAN'T FORCE ME TO WITHDRAW MY OWN IDEA AND MY REAL FEELING.

Don't shit me about stuff like "get over it".

'cause I can't. I can not get over it.

 

This incident only will reinforce my idea on free will and free speech.

And the right to express my-genuine-self.

There will be no next time for u ppl even to have the chance to force me to do so 

 

Don't get fooled by the title, I won't put so many things in this post since I don't got the time.
But yeah, I still gotta shit about sth, either ppl read this in the near future like it or not.
It's my blog, I got the right to decide what I want to say and what I don't.
There will be a Chinese version shortly after I finish this but it will be a total different entry.

Although I won't talk about all the shits appeared in the title, but yeah that single line basically concludes my recent state of mind.
I am tired, and it's not fair.
I don't know if it's the whole marriage thing or I just simply wanna get even.
I just think it's not fair.
Anyway, life is so fuckin hard, it supposes to be not fair, or where to get the fun huh?!

Only got about 30 some dayz to prepare for my once in a life time big fuckin presentation - the wedding ceremony.
And the clock has tic tac to the point that I only have sth less than half of that.
Yeah maybe by some very tiny and remotely chance that I may marry more than once in my entire life, from the long-shot perspective,
But just like we always say, the first time always is the best.
So, I must, and I have to, take the entire wedding thing serious enough as if the end of the world may fall upon me if I scew this up.
Anyway, I shall fear nothing, I just got really tired.

My parents, not very supportive for this wedding, as least not as supportive as I expected.
Financially, it's a mess. I am currently trying to apply a "$50" budget plan into a "$100" purchasing project so take ur guess...
Phsically, they don't have the time to be supportive. Work, the stock market and my beloved grandma, talking about having a life huh?!
Mentally, well let's skip this part so I won't freak out since freak out will dramatically decrease my health point and I don't have a lot of that left.
Anyway, I can't choose my parents and they've done a wonderful job to feed me up and other stuff.
Still need to say thanks, even I don't feel to.

And there are a lot of other stuff I can complain about.
But complaining ain't gonna solve shit.
So just let it be, I shall be prepared, for the very moment that my entire life will turn upside down.
Just let it be, like I still got a choice or sth.